under skyline and sunshine

workin girl.

2007-11-09T14:31:00.000-08:00

"i just don't feel like it's going to be the good fit we hoped for." -aKc-

2007-11-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

right time. right photo.

2007-11-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

they're wonderful.

thanks to ariel.

round here...

2007-11-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

something radiates.
first and foremost – i’m looking for jobs.
well - just one i suppose.

it's taking a lot of ... prayer.
and discipline.
and help.
it's good.
that's my main focus now.
soon is grace's winetasting.
and another august show.
and pat green.
...
i spent a week of august on tour with the spares.
taking care of grace & lila.

lila merle is the cutest yitta five month old girl.
spent another week of september in atlanta with reed&annie&julie&will.

she said it. by the end of the week she
said anana instead of mama. i'll take that
version of angela any day.

spent a weekend of october in south dakota...

...and wyoming. i think they call these wide open spaces. :)

kangaroos!

donkeys!

chipmunks!

prairie dogs!

oh and ... mt. rushmore. :)

best. trip. ever.
but it’s nice to be back.
eilen jewel, sarah harmer and lori mckenna are rocking my world.
you know that stereotypical scary cursing cab driver?
i was in his cab.
with my five year old nephew.
my niece and nephew got me fantastic pj pants for my birthday.
i saw emmylou live for my birthday. unbelievable.
got me way into dolly parton.
lovin to daddy and will he be waiting for me?
i’m learning thankfulness. it’s good.
you’ve gotta make the good count, ya see.
i’m writing – that’s also good.
i’ve got some fantastic earrings from ruthie. look into it.
i’m glad all my shows are on tv again.
life without nannying is different. to say the least.
…
there’s so much and so little going on all at once.
i think it’s called home.

kelly and jodee and steve...

2007-08-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

made for a good kinduva saturday night.
first was kelly at the old town school...

and then jodee and steve at martyrs'.

the august who performed after jodee and steve?
not too shabby themselves.

today...

2007-07-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

my first ever people magazine came to my house!
and ew finally switched my address and i got that too!
and a jcrew catalogue.
and all of the recent huntsville newspaper clippings from my mom!
i mean seriously.
this is a good mail day.

game ... set ... match.

2007-07-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

isn't that what they say?
watched my first ever tennis match today ...
learned all about it.
l-o-v-e-d it.
:so: wanted andy roddick to win.
but you have to give the underdog credit where it's due.

it finally happened.

2007-06-09T16:32:00.000-07:00

the one downside of what i anticipate to be a fantastic summer.

2007-06-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

i've never ever ever ever ever liked cicadas.
i mean - look at that. who wants to :hold: that?

and ... well ... the news has been saying they're coming.

but they're not.
not to the city at least.

but they :have: arrived in the suburbs.
and i babysit in the suburbs.
and kara being the
brave-and-bold-in-regards-to-cicadas girl
that :i: am certainly not ...
lo-lo-lo-loves them.
and wants me to hold them like she does.
and so i am afraid ...
that the longstanding fear i have had of cicadas...
(due to my sister telling me at a young age that
THESE

were actual alive cicadas and then :throwing: them at me)
is going to have to be put aside.
and at some point ...
i am going to have to hold a cicada.
perhaps even give one a name.

2007-05-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

this and that.

2007-05-11T20:11:00.000-07:00

looptopia is definitely still on the table.
perhaps perhaps perhaps.
4:50 am: invasion of the body snatchers.
:that's: what i wanna do.
six hours. perhaps a nap before.

i feel as though i unpacked all day.
however ... what i see is not even the most maneeni dent in all of the boxes
i am certainly not sure how i feel about that.
allthough ...
i must say ...
my closet is pretty much to die for.

last weekend was reed and annie all weekend.
big time fun.
i think now that i'm being begged for gifts ...
we've reached aunt status.

reed belts mississippi girl like no one i've ever seen.

peter, viv and reed at oz park.

my anniesunshine.

smilin girl.

round here...

2007-04-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

wedding prep was crazy fun.

on the back porch. during the family dinner.

nails done. :)

we had breaks sometimes from the bustling. :)

the wedding itself was a smash hit.
rochelle was of course beautiful.

rochelle and her mom.

mark and his brothers.

christin and vic.

lindsey, ariel and i.

roommates!

me and chris.

jason, ariel and ryan.

ames and me.

the most cutie girl.
and the most handsome boy.
her getaway dress was darling.

now: packing.
then moving.

goodbye to our view.

and hello to our beautiful yard.

(no it's not :actually: that big. but it feels that big to us.)

and our wonderful magenta trimmings.
then unpacking. dun dun dun.

rosie.

2007-04-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

tonight. at the beat kitchen.

my first introduction to rosie thomas was :this: song:

so much for love, guess i've been wrong
but it's all right, cause i'm moving on
i've got my car all packed w i t h c a s s e t t e t a p e s
and sweaters and loose change and cheap cigarettes
and i'm gonna drive through the hills
with my hand out the window
and sing till i run out of words.
i'm gonna stop at every truck stop
make small talk with waiters
and truck driving men.
i'm gonna fall asleep in the back seat
with no one around but me and my friends
it's gonna be so grand
it's gonna be just like my wedding day
yeah, i've had enough of love, it feels good to give up
so good to be good to myself
and i'm gonna get on the highway with no destination
and plenty of visions in mind
and i'm gonna drive to the ocean
go skinny dipping
blow kisses to venus and mars
i'm gonna stop at every bar
and flirt the cowboys in front their girlfriends
it's gonna be so grand
it's gonna be just like my wedding day
so much for love, i guess i've been wrong
but it's all right cause i'm moving on
i'm gonna drive over hills
over mountains and canyons
and boys that keep bringin me down
i'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine
drink good wine in vineyards
and get asked to dance
i'm gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by
never ever ever again
it's gonna be so grand
it's gonna be just like my wedding day

can we just take a moment ...

2007-04-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

to discuss etsy?
it's pretty much :the: coolest place since sliced bread.
and the way you can search by color?
seriously - i have had things to do for the past week.
but they haven't gotten done.
cause i'm browsing etsy.

and also a moment to discuss leilani?
cause she's a fantastic artist.
who throws fantastic art parties.
where :great: things get made.
great ideas get thrown around.
and wonderful connections are made.

there's an artist in me that needs an intentional outlet.

it's palm sunday. and it's holy week.
and those are healing times.

tomorrow night ...

2007-03-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

is my first ever patty griffin show.

"she took to the air with the greatest of ease
like she was born to be gliding on that old trapeze.

some people don't care
if they live or they die.

some people wanna know what it feels like to fly.

gather their courage and they give it a try..."

"tomorrow may rain with sorrow.

here's a little time we can borrow.
forget all our troubles in these moments so few.

all we've got right now, all we've really gotta do
is have ourselves a heavenly day."

"the leaves are green and new like a baby.

tulips are red now, i don't miss the snow.

it's the first day i don't wear my
big boots.

you hold my hand.

i've got burgundy shoes."

"sometimes i feel like
i've never been nothing but tired.

and i'll be walking until the day i expire.
sometimes i lay down, no more can i do.

but then i go on again. because you asked me too."

"i'm gonna find me a man, love him so well
love him so strong, love him so slow

we're gonna go way beyond the walls of this fortress

and we won't be afraid, we won't be afraid
and though the darkness may come our way
we won't be afraid to be alive anymore.

and we'll grow kindness in our hearts
for all the strangers among us

till there are no strangers anymore."

and also.

2007-03-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

tomorrow it's going to be 70 degrees here.
sev.en.ty. degrees people.
the picture's of laura. but it's what i'll be doing.

less bucktown than ...

2007-03-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

can i throw a housewarming party ...
from a box?
i hope so.
apartment finding in this city is ...
out. of. control.

hope.

2007-03-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

the sky is blue and sunny. the season's are changing.

one of those.

2007-03-03T11:21:00.000-08:00

i spent a week in clarksville with meg, dutch, coby, ellie and john wyatt. it was big time fun, big time restful, big time busy, and big time healing. i love being there, though i try not to gush too much. this is brand new baby john wyatt:

ellie the phant. who was hardly bigger than john wyatt is now the last time i saw her. this is pretty much the face she makes in every picture ... she didn't like the flash. :smile:

dutch and cobes. always fun. dutch is starting soccer this year and so pretty much all we did was play. and coby "lalala's" all over the house. it's hysterical.

dress shopping proved extremely successful, rochelle however was pretty entirely annoyed by the picture taking by about an hour in.

dress shopping lunch with rochelle's mom denise, roche, jacquie and ariel.

the super bowl party at goose island.

ice skating downtown.

tomorrow:
there's company here.
pat green at the house of blues.
carol's pub.
feed.
birthday weekends are so so fun.
it's a whirlwind. i like a whirlwind every now and again.

tonight:
the twisted spoke.
the best fried egg sandwich you've ever had.
hopefully the departed.
that's what i'm pushing for at least.
i have :just:got: to see it.
i mean who does not love that martin finally got his academy award?

last night:
the happy village.
fun.
the inattentive bartender was counting money.
i said: um. can i get a beer from you?
guy at the bar: outspoken. i like it. tomorrow ... you're going to be on the view. ok? i line stuff up for them. tomorrow. you. ::toasts::.
what?
mia after hearing: was it louie? louie's weird. i bet it was louie.

this morning:
me: what letter is this?
viv: B.
me: and what does B say?
viv: buh buh buh.
me: great. and what starts with B?
viv: bored?
so much for trying to be one of :those: aunts.

last sunday:
i'm pretty sure someone i know sent this in.

this week:
i'm loving billy currington's good directions.
my boots came. i love them.
but i don't wear them turned down in that odd way.
finally saw the science of sleep. loved.
and scoop. loved.
and my dead man's chest dvd.
lots of movies get watched when you're sick and actually take a day and a half off.
half nelson arrived.
as did babel.
and cool hand luke.
i love paul newman.
and ryan gosling.
i managed not to get strep without going to the doctor.
i'm beginning to shake what apparently is just a horrific cold.
at least my feet will stay warm now.
also got cowgirl boots on sale for summer.
turned these down, as there was some toe cleavage problems.
sad, as i've been wanting them for six months.
am thinking this designyourown thing is crazycool.

right this instant:
perhaps a nap?
or should it be a shower and productivity?
a nap i think.
:grin:

today.

2007-02-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

it is 45 degrees outside.
and our windows are open because it feels so warm.
:smile:

neko sings it too.

2007-02-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

a while back during communion at covenant pres., jodee and steve sang poor wayfaring stranger. and church felt closer to home than it ever had before. plus there was a cutie baby dancing behind me. his name was will. i saw him again today. bundled up in a bunting.

i am a poor wayfaring stranger
travelling through this world of woe
but there's no sickness, toil or danger
in that bright land to which i go

well i'm going there
to meet my Father
said he'd meet me when i come
i'm only going over jordan
i'm only going over home

i k n o w dark clouds
will gather 'round me
i know my way will be rough and steep
but beautiful fields lie just before me
where God's redeemed, their vigils keep

well i''m going there
to meet my loved ones
gone on before me, one by one
i'm only going over jordan
i'm only going over home

i'll soon be free of earthy trials
my body rest in the old church yard
i'll drop this cross of self-denial
and i'll go singing home to God

well i'm going there
to meet my Savior
dwell with Him and never roam
i'm only going over jordan
i'm only going over home

and at the end of this song which at times i can make melodramatically melancholy ...
i remember (as i'm getting better at doing these days) that there are God's redeemed who gather round m e now.

round here...

2007-02-10T18:04:00.000-08:00

the weather has become siberian.
we've been in the negatives.
and it's been windy.
but i'm adjusting.
apparently i'm from the south but don't suck at winter.
today i went ice skating with peter and viv. so much fun.
i'm going to nashville next week to meet tiny john wyatt.
the superbowl party was fantastic fun.
until the end obviously.
there's some serious and lasting rex grossman induced sadness.
last week rochelle, her mom, jacquie, ariel and i went wedding dress shopping.
the dress is fantastic. and rochelle is beautiful.
my room is clean.
clean like ... she-finally-moved-in-and-finished-unpacking-clean.
the internet became so inpredictable that we finally purchased.
today i finished the most ridiculous phone tag situation of my life.
my jenna is engaged. though i don't officially know yet.
i'm reading franny & zooey by salinger.
i love salinger.
i'm also reading bird by bird by lamott.
i also love lamott. though nothing will ever top travelling mercies.
i'm working on another magazine project.
i've begun to remind myself again.
i'm reconsidering redcloud. possibly year round. possibly not.
reconsidering pretty seriously actually.
i'm so excited about it, i'm having trouble thinking of cons.
though i should make a concerted effort to do so.
my small group is fantastic.
we're reading carson's a call to spiritual reformation.
i have a pilates mat.
and yoga-for-beginners and pilates-for-beginners dvds.
my chiropractor pretty much changes my life every time i see him.
"she snickers" he says. he's my kinduva doctor.
even if he does find my chi meridians. which i think is a load of absolute crap.
i'm watching a lot of remington steele. ain't nothin like.
i've been having some crazy weird dreams .
i think it's because of the nyquill.
i'm in love with bath & bodyworks.
and i'm :so glad: that LOST is back on.
today i bought two harry potter books.
i've been having some withdrawal. they should help.

caroline herring

2007-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:00

her website.
listen to her stuff. texas two step is my current fave.

blood diamond.

2007-01-17T17:07:00.000-08:00

i'm a very visual girl. and this movie was hard on me. really really hard. but it was also phenomenal. incredibly shot, incredibly acted ... and incredibly convicting? maybe. maybe that's not quite the right word. one hates to appeal to merely the emotions; and my fear of being perceived as dramatic instead of as appropriately responding to such a film is in the back of my mind. but my sister actually had to physically lift me out of my chair so the rest of the people in our aisle could get out of their seats. she sat me by a sign for ratatouille and went to get some paper towels. i waited with amy, who reacts as i do during emotional situations that she doesn't quite get, and made jokes about how she really didn't think that he wouldn't have made it the last twenty yards to the plane. it helped in the moment. but the film still made its point. i sat for awhile. i talked about other things for awhile. i went home, washed my hair and went out to get a beer as i had planned. but i still went to sleep with the dull headache of having so fiercely sobbed. by today, i'm a little better. there's people i would recommend see it. there's other people i think should not. it depends on how you must learn. how you must be informed. i'd heard about this problem before. and it made me think then. sort of. but ... reading about it isn't experiencing it. and neither is sitting in a comfortable theater and proceeding with your life afterwards. but it's closer.

while the entire concept of the movie was hard/convicting/still-can't-think-of-the-right-word for me. the relationship between solomon and dia was within itself even more so. it was like me and Jesus. painfully like me and Jesus. "find me in the valley and remind me of my name."

point being: it changed things for me.
...

"yeah. it's a shit shit world. but good things are
done every single day." -maddy bohen-

...
things i have
always
thought i wanted one day.

lately.

2007-01-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

christmas ended as a huge success.

i tend to babysit my life away.
but i'm totally on board.

my trip-to-texas plans are ... well ...
herethere&everywhere.

the niece and nephew have finally gotten
a picture of themselves with their aunt.

i finished the draft of my sip.
dr. ralton is editing right now.

rochelle and mark got engaged.

and last night ...
jack ingram put on a damn good show a joe's.

:smile:

2006-12-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

remember that time that christmas eve (which is only :one: day before christmas DAY people) was just an hour away?

i will not snap.

2006-12-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

i'm not a pansy sortuva guitar string.
that's why i can last fifteen more hours.
even if isaac wardell is playing the song.

close.

2006-12-13T11:05:00.001-08:00

i'm close.
not close enough to pause.
but close enough to say that i'm close.

i like to pretend ...

2006-12-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

... that i am one of those hipcoolkids who can listen to hipcoolmusic while they study. i'm not. classical or opera is the :only: thing that i can effectively listen to when i study. and yet, again and again and again i try to listen to the music that i sing to while i'm studying. in light of that problem of mine ... my sister has said that if i only listen to lyricless music while i'm studying until i'm through with capital-A-all of my schoolwork ...
then i get this:

AND this:

as prizes.
and we :all: know how i love a prize.

the arrival.

2006-12-02T23:30:00.000-08:00

the advent means the arrival of the Christ. the advent means the Lord is come. the advent means that it is finished. the advent means that Jesus has come to bear our burdens. to be "our simon standing there." the advent is ... as cliche as it sounds ... what christmas is about. and this year, i'm :very: excited about christmas, just ask my roommates. i'm excited for a lot of reasons. a lot of reasons that :don't: have to do with Jesus being born. and those reasons are ok too. it's ok that i'm excited for christmas because by then i will be through with the enormous work load i have for the next two weeks. it's ok that i'm excited about christmas because by then i won't have to go to school again until i want to. it's ok that i'm excited about christmas because i have the most beautiful christmas tree ever to exist. it's ok that i cannot :wait: for my mom to get her gifts. it's ok that i'm excited about christmas because i l.o.v.e. wrapping presents and picking out presents and sending cards.

but, when the next two weeks look too big to be accomplished, like they do tonight ... it's really good for me to be excited because tomorrow is the first day that i celebrate the birth of Jesus. it's good for me to listen to jennifer knapp sing sing alleluia over and over. it's good for me to remember to praise the King of all good things. to remember that the last twentyfour hours :could: very literally have been much much worse. everyone i love is still alive. everyone i love is still healthy. the ones who love me most are rallying around me as i frantically strive to accomplish graduation.

when the next two weeks look too big to be accomplished, when i want to melt as i have many times before, when i want to be the girl i used to be, instead of the girl i am now, when i want to pretend i haven't learned strength, when i want to forget that i have learned to cope, when i want to cry, when i want not to cry, when i just feel too damn tired, when there's too much else to be thought of to think that i can possibly think of watching films and writing a sip, when i cannot manage to remember for more than a split second at a time that the strength does not come from me, that the being-awake-ness does not come from me, that even the concentration to read does not come from me, that nothing at all comes from me, but only :to: me by grace ... it's good for me to remember that Jesus not only died for me, but was born and lived for me.

jennifer's sing alleluia.

beautiful & treacherous thing

2006-11-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

it's their new cd. buy it. it'll be worth your while.

...

2006-11-28T15:57:00.000-08:00

it has come to my attention that i don't really do this blogging thing as i used to. (i've been reading through my old xangas you see.) it has been really good for me i think. it has stopped me from turning all the events of my life into one line hilarities to be posted for an audience who :of course: was waiting with baited breath for my next bit of cleverness. (smirk at my own ridiculousness). it has made me live in my life, and less on my internet. which was what i had hoped for. and i'm glad for that. however, there remain things that i like about blogging, however frequently, cryptically, wordily, straightforwardly or whateveredly, that i do it.

i've never really blogged traditionally. i mean ... i've never kept people updated on my life through my blog. i'm not sure what that's about. i keep up with most in other ways. and i like those other ways better.

but tonight, as i sit procrastinating the next 300 pages of my monaco text book that need to be skimmed ... i thought i would say ...

my mom is visiting. she came two days before thanksgiving and is leaving tomorrow. it's been good to have her. she is going to kyiv to visit my oldest sister, carin, for twenty days ... leaving on friday. she and dad will be back at christmas. i'm hosting this year. i'm really quite excited. my whole house is decorated with the exception of the spot that sits bare waiting for the christmas tree. ariel and i are driving :way: out of the city to cut one down ourselves tomorrow. apparently, by this time of the year, all of the christmas tree farms close to the city are picked over already. so, we're beginning our tradition. we aren't going to wisconsin, as we had talked about. but we're going far enough. i'm pretty sure that it's going to be good for my heart. in two and a half weeks i will graduate from covenant college. i have quite a bit to do, as can be imagined, but it's certainly coming together nicely. not without some procrastination, but nicely none the less. after graduation, after christmas, and after a trip to texas in january, i will find a job. a job that i love. and i realize, that may be more difficult that i anticipate. i am going to covenant presbyterian church. i take care of the kiddos during the thursday morning mom's bible study and l.o.v.e. it. i babysit often, and for the coolest families of all time. i have a spot at church. and that is so important to me. the kiddos at church know me, and that makes it feel like home. two sundays ago, jodee lewis (of the spares, an endorsement for their upcoming cd will soon come) sang poor wayfaring stranger during communion and it was one of the coolest things ever. because of that one moment i've stopped missing rock creek fellowship in a gutwrenching sort of way, and instead love the new community i have been given. my peter and my viv are as wonderful as ever. last night i said: "vivian, i just really really love you." and vivian replied: "and i just really really love olivia." so, clearly, they haven't changed so much that you've lost track of them.

and that, right now, is my life. i study, i go to church, i walk the dog sometimes, i hang out with peter and viv, i babysit (reed and annie and grace are the coolest ones), i sleep enough, i watch the tv that matters, i fall asleep watching friends on dvd, and i drink coffee.

overall, things are good. things are busy, but things are good.

2006-11-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

early mornings cleanse my soul.
(i can't help but think of the time ariel said:
"shut. up. :everything: cleanses your soul.) :grin:
this is what i see from my roof in the mornin.

the wheat from the chaff.

2006-10-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

so i've thrown out heroes. and studio 60. and six degrees. which is sad. but really ... there's only so many shows that even :i: can watch. and it is nice to have a few nights during a week when i'm not supposed to be watching something. :grin:

that leaves the final count at seven. seven shows that i keep up with. which i've got to say ... is absolutely plenty.

also ... brothers & sisters? :well: worth your time. dave annable as justin walker is the absolute new love of my life.

lately i.

2006-10-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

-clean pretty often, actually.
-sweep on saturdays.
-walk olivia with her choke chain. so that i can walk her. instead of her walking me.
-do not actually love silent films and their history as i thought i would.
-only want clean laundry for a birthday present.
-am trying to make time to carve my pumpkin.
-rarely make it to movies in the theater .
-am pining away to see wicked.
-loved the last kiss despite everyone else's opinions.
-love the music from the last kiss as well.
-am trying to solve my storage unit problem.
-like having people over.
-cohost "gilmore-girls-tuesdays."
-babysit really often.
-really love little girl grace.
-think it is hysterical how much she hates being called gracie lou who.
-am attending covenant pres. and :loving: it.
-have complete faith in the cooking decisions of lula’s.
-have learned to bundle before i walk outside.
-am reading sense and sensibility.
-keep up with people better.
-and am so glad about it.
-am planning my sister’s birthday breakfast.
-am :so: excited about the fray tomorrow.
-constantly listen to indelible grace.
-and matthew smith.
-am trying to exhaustively learn ryan adams as well.
-spend thursday mornings at cov.pres. taking care of the kiddos during the mom’s biblestudy.
-spend thursday afternoons in evanston.
-talk to my mom a lot.
-have found a hamilton place in chicago. it has a chili’s. with. a. parking lot! and an outback. and a walmart! it’s like you’re in the south all over again!
-have managed (fin.a.ly.) to get on board with city parking.
-am thinking a lot about christmas. it’s just so cold i can hardly help it!
-hang out with peter and viv more often than i babysit them. it’s good.
-am feeling rather old as twentythree is right around the corner.

remember that time ...

2006-10-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

i said it was wear-a-coat weather? ha!
ya know how i think it's super cold now? ha!
it's going to be a ::longcold:: winter.

fall tv is here.

2006-09-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

autumn.

2006-09-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

yesterday it became "wear-a-coat-weather" as my great aunt doris would say.

2006-09-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

i l.o. l.o. l.o. l.o.v.e. alias.

owen & mzee.

2006-09-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

perhaps ::everyone:: already knows about this.
perhaps you all knew about a year and a half ago.
bbc covered it.
npr covered it.
national geographic covered it.
the animal liberation front covered it.
you can read about it on wikipedia.
owen & mzee have their own weblog.
owen & mzee have their own book.
they have, in fact, been so searched that random people's weblog post's about them come up on google.

i however, have just. now. today. found out about owen & mzee. owen was a baby hippo who lost his mother in a tsunami in 2004, was rescued and taken to haller park in mombasa. there, he adopted mzee (mm-ZAY) (not to be a cheese, but i had no idea how to say it until ::i:: saw a pronunciation guide), a 130 year old aladabran tortoise as his "mother." ::usually:: mzee didn't want to hang out with anyone ... but he started teaching owen all sorts of cool things, and still a year and a half later, they hang out together all the time!

the update.

2006-09-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

the infamous billy graham paper:
written.

the prize:
purchased via a fabulous sales rep.

the final class grade:
b+.

the kiddo's fourth birthday bash:
pulled off with flying colors.

school:
about to begin.

the nanny gig:
one week left.

the french:
not bad.

the new job hunt:
in process.
un:

deux:

trois:

quatre:

cinq:

the air & water show

2006-08-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

so yesterday i ::finally:: got to see the blue angels. and they ::were:: truly everything i had hoped for and more. it was ::awesome::.

and then just now i saw them out my window, which was so exciting ::until:: i went up on the roof ... and they flew. right. over. me. and ::that:: was the coolest thing of all time!

lately i ...

2006-08-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

-love carrie underwood's before he cheats.
-have replaced walk the line with cat on a hot tin roof as my new favorite movie of all time. (not of course to say that walk the line isn't a very. close. second.)
-really love paul newman.
-and aidan shaw.
-am obviously watching s&tc.
-have finished the emily series.
-am reading louisa may alcott's old fashioned girl.
-use a pencil in my planner.
-am attempting to gear up for a last semester.
-write rough drafts of emails to professors.
-think elizabeth taylor is ::so:: beautiful.
-let the cat sleep in my bed at night.
-eat bagels and philly cream cheese a lot.
-occasionally try to be social.
-am loving jolie holland.
-want season tickets to the cubs.
-really need to do laundry.
-need more fruit loops.
-keep trying to rearrange my room. unsuccessfully.
-am trying desperately to organize.
-need to find good bluegrass.

the hotel california.

2006-08-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

it's been fun.
but soon ... my house will be empty.

first jason came to visit ro.
but he's my friend now.
::smirk::

then natalie...

and ryan ...

and matt (and jonathan) ... came to visit.
and to go to pitchfork.

and then chelse came to visit.

and ::then:: emily came to visit.

lately i ...

2006-07-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

...have read a separate peace, a swiftly tilting planet, jane of lantern hill and am now working on a tree grows in brooklyn.
...have still been trying to read boundaries.
...have watched the first two seasons of the oc, several paul newman movies, and a lot of friends.
...have been thinking about first john.
...play with olivia a lot more than i used to.
...am missing the maryland beach.
...am spending a lot of time with peter and vivian.
...productively drive to evanston once a week.
...occasionally entertain the thought of going running. and think that when i do, i will enjoy it again.
...can handle city living a little better.
...differently, but still dreadfully miss southern living.
...have been back to tennessee. where i camped on lake nickajack. (a dream fulfilled). and played with olivia in the lake where she finally could fetch two sticks at once. it's cause she's so smart. where i had to promptly exit lake nickajack and rid my feet and calves of teenytinydisgusting leeches. where i got to see margaret anne, gracie, and chuck. where i got to go to rock creek. which is so amazingly good for my soul that there are hardly even words for it. where i saw dave. where i ate my queso at taco mac. where i drove to rising fawn.
...have gotten speeding tickets in five states. resulting in a letter threatening to have my licensed revoked. ::gasp::
...water my plants a little more often.
...enjoy washing dishes.
...tend to eat more fruit than chicken nuggets.
...really dislike quarter pounders.
...often am found with a fountain ponytail on the top of my head.
...have trouble making "i love" lists.
...spend far too much time on my myspace.
...seriously want a motorcycle.
...look for plane tickets often so that people can come visit.
...am still trying to find homes for those last few things that i've unpacked.
...use my juniper breeze lotion a lot. it has good memories.
...love laying on my sister's bed talking to her.
...listen to a lot of bill and kasey chambers.
...go to bed a little earlier, and wake up a little earlier every day.
...am trying to keep on the sunny side.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-07-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

cyndi lauper.
my songs for smiling cds.
mo/moesha/girl george.
seeing the cousins and sister.
decorated paper plates.
enrique iglesias.
an atlas.
ocean city, maryland.
that my mom was a terrapin.
the beach.
jetskiing in. the. ocean.
making whirlpools.
"you're turning into a motorcycle girl aren't you?"
being out of pa, oh, and in.
helpful linkage.
the beach boys ... wouldn't it be nice?
"that's because it's freaking 138th street!"
::not:: being a newbie.
harley davidsons.
the smoking amish.
"fireworkers."
dave matthews ... i'm taking it slow.
"i am ::in:: the MIDDLE of something!"
chili pepper red jeeps.
"they don't know what to do with they damn selves!"
vogue on the beach.
arriana boardman's riding kit.
my land's end suit.
getting past the waves.
"i'll go out there with ya!"
beach babies in bikinis.
carly simon.
my starfish earrings.
aquamarine.
derek webb's crooked deep down.
derek webb in general.
sandra mccracken.
old crow medicine show.
white pants.
kate hudson.
"katie is a strong willed girl.
if you confused her absolute decency and kindness
with simplicity ....
you'd be making a big mistake."
dierks bentley's lot of leaving left to do.
making way for goslings.
being able to see the screen on my phone.
very tiny favors.

::hooray::

2006-06-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

::i:: am going to the beach for. a. week. and. a. half.

the first day of summer...

2006-06-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

... is awfully cloudy and drizzly and dreary.
summer. is supposed. to be ::sunny::.

::the couch::

2006-06-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

things i ::considered:: doing while stuck on the couch:
organizing my pictures.
training the dog...
at least to stop combining "sit" and "lay down."
planning a christmas party.
organizing the clothes that have gotten disorganized in the last week.
since they haven't been put in a home yet.
writing a cover letter.
calling everyone i need to catch up with.
reading the book of church order.
ordering way too many things online.

things i ::actually:: did while stuck on the couch:
read a separate peace.
and a lot of old sunday funnies.
restarted reading boundaries.
watched the second season of friends.
and the first season of family guy.
and a rebel without a cause.
and how to lose a guy in ten days.
and a streetcar named desire.
and the a&e biography of johnny cash.
talked to my carin.
putzed around online for ::hours::.
pretended to be in rear window.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-06-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

i love. love. love. that my tailbone is ::not:: broken.

my current creative outlet.

2006-06-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

"while my heart is a shield and i won't let it down,

while i am so afraid to fail so i won't even try,

well how can i say i'm alive?"

"it feels so much lighter now i met you."

"well i shall not, i shall not be moved,

sing ... i shall not, i shall not be moved,

just like a tree thats standin' by the water...

i shall not be moved."

"in the twilight glow i see her,

blue eyes crying in the rain.

when we kissed goodbye and parted,

i knew we'd never meet again."

"all you kids get out the back door.

i've never seen her this bad before.

took all her favourite things
down from the window

and broke them all over her clean floor.

it's saturday at the mansion,

the oldest boy
walks with a slouch.

the young ones are wild in the back of the house,
and she gave up and went back to sleep on the couch.
something as simple as boys

and girls

gets tossed all around
and then lost in the world.

something as hard as a prayer
on your back

can't wait a long time for an answer.

so i'm wearing my footsteps into this floor.

one day i won't live here anymore.

someone will wonder
who lived here before
and went on their way.

i live too many miles from the ocean.

and i'm getting older

and odd.

i get up every morning with a black cup of coffee

and i talk to the mother of God."

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-06-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

i love this photo. it just ... well ... kills.

my clothes all in stacks.
the view out my front window...
my bedroom window...
off my roof.
my neighborhood.
"maybe if i bunch them all up together..."
finding my hidden gate wine bottle from krissy.
entourage.
"pretend to be on the phone. be focused."
that the blues fest is this weekend.
starting a process.

hm.

2006-06-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

taken by david nightingale.
entitled: the state of the union.

always listing.

2006-06-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

still unpacking.
7/8ths of the way through organizing clothes.
a bedroom again piled high with boxes.
a clean house now disrupted.
anticipating x4 .
unalphabetized dvds.
eating chips in a laundry basket.
christmas lights on the back porch.
the clear remnants of a party.
reading myself to sleep.
instead of watching myself to sleep.
cookbook designs.
my kiddos in the nursery.
lots and lots and lots and lots and lots...
of new people.
lunch with my sister tomorrow.
lots of phonecalls to make.
lots of business to tend to.
lots and lots and lots and lots and lots...
of unpacking still to do.
cooking real supper in my apartment.
power strips to find.
needing to paint my toes.
having trouble with falling down lately.
::smirk::
lots of bandaids to prove it.
always something about the dog...
my screen is up in the apartment.
having trouble locating things.
it's all "in a box somewhere."
at least i know where my toothbrush is.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-06-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

i love that it's really saturday afternoon.
that i can change my date & time on blogspot.
that at 11:59 last night there were still people all over my house.
olivia being so good and calm.
and doing tricks.
finding new friends that ::have:: to meet tatiana.
getting through a housewarming party.
seeing the dysfunction sooner and sooner everytime.
my dvd collection.
combined with ariel's dvd collection.
plans to rewatch both seasons of the oc.
job ::possibilities::.
a clean house.
crashes.
x3. finally. 4:45 today.
that cal the cactus is unpacked and in the window.
that today is a pretty day.
that today is a sweatpants day.
all day.

the wreckers...

2006-06-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

{comprised of michelle branch & jessica harp}
... are unbelievably fabulous. ::they sing patty::.
i love their sound. and i love their writing.

words by jessica harp:
got my headlights shining
down an old dirt road
smoke my cigarettes
i should quit, i know

the radio's playing
old country songs
someone's leaving, someone's cheating
on and on

i think i might like
the quiet nights
of this empty life

cause someday maybe
somebody will love me like i need
and someday i won't have to prove
cause somebody will see
all my worth but until then
i'll do just fine on my own
with my cigarettes
and this old dirt road

see i left another
good man tonight
i wonder if he'll miss me
lord knows i tried

but i think that maybe
the thing that i did wrong
was put up with his bullshit
for far too long

i ain't gonna sleep
i ain't gonna dream
about the things that i used to need
i ain't gonna cry
or go on living lies
i'm just gonna drive

cause someday maybe
somebody will love me like i need
and someday i won't have to prove
cause somebody will see
all my worth but until then
i'll do just fine on my own
with my cigarettes
and this old dirt road

listing.

2006-05-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

bluegrass tuesdays:
tomorrow begins the tradition.
errands to wisconsin.
housewarming parties.
fabulous views from my roof.
it takes one's breath away.
memorial day cookouts.
kiddos in the pool.
x3. soon.
missing people. in a good kinduva way.
texas songs that make me smile.
but don't make me want to be anywhere but here.
cats and dogs adjusting.
couches in the bay window.
the familiar smell of murphy's wood oil.
sisters oh so close by.
well thought out plans.
conoco hanging on my wall.
all my books out of boxes.
my pottery barn frame.
pedro sleeping in the window sill.
central air.
internet only from the back of the couch.
peter's "i love ya MOST MORE!"
rabbit ears to watch LOST's season finale.
city driving.
no dirt roads just yet.
finding fishing spots.
finding time.
ordering happy meals by mistake.
sleeping in my ::own:: bed.
in my ::own:: room.
fans in the summer.
candles on the porch.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-05-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

i love the zoo.
and so we went. and ... ate popcorn.

viv and peter in some sort of a log ... thing ...

hands on the hips.

she wouldn't put her shoes back on ...

vivian and the mommy gorilla and the baby gorilla.

two of my favorite boys.

how's that for a copout fridayilove post? ::grin::

2006-05-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

i have paint for my room!
and a chicago 7 county street guide!
and FRUIT SNACKS!

::tired::

2006-05-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

so. i've been driving i65 for days.
but finally ... on thursday night ... i stopped.
and i must say ... i may never leave this apartment.
because everything is up three flights of stairs.
even the legendary couch.
and although the amount of boxes is rather frightening ...
and i am ridiculously sleep deprived ...
(who wakes up at 5 am on days when they can sleep until 9?)
this whole situation is shaping up to be ... well ...
fan.tas.tic.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-05-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

i love ev.er.y.thing. that i own being in chicago.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-05-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

so much to love today and yet so genuinely little time to type.
the clampetts coming to the big city. ::smirk::

-"they named her ::suri::."
-"like ... with the fringe on top?"
my daddy singing o what a beautiful mornin.
big trucks. an f150 triton is back again.
oooooooooooklahoma.
rosie thomas' wedding day.
myspace slideshows.
painting my toes pink crush.
-"not a one of them angela! not. a. one!"
medians that have just been mowed.
turnaround days.
that there are reasons to compromise shaved legs.
chris ledoux's whatcha gonna do with a cowboy.
-"yes ma'am."
chase: the photo guy.
the aggieland cyclery guys.
especially the one who was headed to israel last fall.

::sigh::

2006-05-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

at the end of the day... i'm a mr. knightley kinduva girl.

but that look of mr. darcy's .... yes. well.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-05-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

today i love having a lot to do.
and getting it done.
the park with m. anne.
letting her get dirty.
the purple daisy picnic cafe.
barbeque sandwiches.
two washing machines.
the south in the late spring.
the indigo girls.
that there's a squirrel in the trap.
blue skies. the store.

bathtub extravaganza.

2006-05-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

so. the kiddos hate washing their hair. and i was in charge. so ... tricky tricky aunt that i am ... i thought of a gimmick. and man o man was it a hit.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-04-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

i love:
this shot. from a wedding sarah was in.

how often my life ::feels:: random.
how rarely it really ::is::.
what we're fondly calling the aunt tax.
free tanning until june.
::really:: good job possibilities.
a ::really:: nice soon-to-be-roommate.
my amazing apartment.
my really genuinely awful awning.
how Jesus works things out.
i mean ::really:: makes things fall together a.maz.ing.ly.
making hair sculptures in the bathtub.
... ::smirk:: with the niece and nephew's hair...
how g.r.e.a.t. the shots of it are going to be.
teddy.
how much my sisters love me.
that i haven't done laundry in ... one. month.
the ::collective gasp::.
sleeping. right. now.

good for the soul.

2006-04-23T22:15:00.000-07:00

"where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
what do you do with the left over you?

and how do you know, when to let go?

where does the good go?

look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive.
look me in the heart and tell me you won't go.

look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love.
look me in the heart and unbreak broken ...

it won't happen.

it's love that breaks the seal
of always thinking you would be ...

real...

happy...

healthy...

strong...

and calm.

where does the good go?

where do you go when you're in love and the world knows?

how do you live so happily...

while i am sad and broken down?

what do you say?

it's up for grabs ...
now that you're on your way down?

where does the good go?"

"i've been acting, high and mighty.

it's just the liar here inside me.

it's complicated.

it's so sincere.

i'm saturated from living in here."

"don't see elysium.

don't see no fiery hell.

just the lights up bright baby in the bay hotel.

next wave coming in like an ocean roar.

won't you take my hand darling

on that old dancefloor.

we can twist and shout.

do the turtle dove.

and you're the one i love."

"maybe you were right.

but baby I was lonely.

i don't want to fight.

i'm tired of being sorry."

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-04-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

this shot of andrea:

that i have an apartment. with two crazycool girls.
and a matching dog and cat.
in the ukrainian village.
that tomorrow i get to go to shedd aquarium.
maurice sendak's where the wild things are.
alison wearing's honeymoon in purdah.
the wreckers.
particularly leave the pieces.
peter and viv snoring in the next room.
pad thai.
robert earl keen.
being back home in chicago.
hot tea. tazo awake. and twinings earl grey.
good haircuts.
moving soon. so so soon.
that i am well on my way to beginning boundaries.
sleeping on my own airmattress. ha.
that my really real bed will soon be assembled here. hooray!
what a fridaypost cheater i've become. ::smirk::

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-04-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

aaand ... i am loving:
this photo by natalie:
and the badass girl ::in:: the photo.

little sisters.
fourwheelers.
wheelies.
cousins.
"you missed a spot."
aunts and uncles.
groundhogs. everywhere these days.
easter sunday morning.
delaware.
patches.
flying with friends. instead of alone.
local numbers to call carin.
the snap. again.
clear thinking.
sleeping. a lot.
coffee and cigarettes.
movies in bed.

"candylions."

2006-04-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

i miss this nathanboy a. lot.

soho. 7 march 2006.

2006-04-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

this morning i. saw. a. robin!

2006-04-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

shrug my shoulders till this day is over.

2006-04-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

on the el.

2006-04-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

yesterday as i was coming home from thank you for smoking (hi.lar.i.ous. by the by), there was this really young dad and his two little girl daughters on the el with me. he looked supercool, hip and urban and what not ... and was carrying a purple baton. and disciplining the girls. and being crazyfun. and i wanted to be his friend.

there was also this guy playing guitar on the el platform. he was quite good. i mean ... really quite good. i wanted to be his friend too.

i like strangers and their therapeutic smiles.

it's friday. i'm in love. -the cure-

2006-04-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

this week i am loving:
pat green in chicago.
pat green in general.
brendan anthony playing the fiddle.
jondan mcbride playing guitar.
two feet. two. feet. people.
driving without being on the phone.
my first view of the chicago skyline.
the fact that ... i'm here to stay. i can't really take that in right yet.
(i imagine it will be more real in a month when i move into my own apartment.)
peter and vivian.
peter and vivian laughing hilariously.
hanging out with christin.
my pèl & ploma by juan vila casas.
my plethora of new mixed cds.
the wreckers.
the grey's anatomy soundtrack.
tegan and sara's where does the good go. it's definitely on repeat.
shannon brown's i love 'em all.
ben lee's catch my disease.
the radio's whatever gets you through today.
inara george's fools in love.
maria taylor's song beneath the song.
"i have ::got:: to CHILL!"
"you're from ::yonkers::! your last name is ::buffamonteezi::!"
the couple that drove through the alley yesterday:
the woman driving the car ... the man running behind holding something large in the trunk.
picturing them driving/running down the road in that fashion.
caramel on ice cream.
driving michigan avenue.
being reminded of mandie books.
(or reloving i suppose) the walk the line soundtrack.

pat green. tonight.

2006-04-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

in Christ alone

2006-04-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

it seems like posting lyrics to a song is indeed a fairly cryptic thing to do. but ... on this particular day ... and with these particular words ... it's not even remotely cryptic. it's all of the things i can feel on the clear days. it's all of the things i know and believe to be true even on the fuzzy days. it's all the things i rest in ... when i can remember to rest. it's the way i remind myself. it's the gospel.

in Christ alone my hope is found.
he is my light, my strength, my song.
this Cornerstone, this solid ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
what heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease .
my Comforter, my All in All.
here in the love of Christ i stand!

in Christ alone, who took on flesh.
fullness of God in helpless babe.
this gift of love and righteousness
scorned by the ones He came to save.
'till on that cross as Jesus died
the wrath of God was satisfied.
for every sin on Him was laid...
here in the death of Christ i live!

there in the ground His body lay.
light of the world by darkness slain.
then bursting forth in glorious Day,
up from the grave He rose again!
and as He stands in victory
sin's curse has lost it's grip on me!
for i am His and He is mine...
bought with the precious blood of Christ!

no guilt in life, no fear in death!
this is the power of Christ in me.
from life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny.
no power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from His hand.
'till He returns or calls me home
here in the power of Christ i'll stand!

i. am. finally. here.

2006-04-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

no one knew we were ::there:: either

2005-07-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

"howdy. well damnit. welcome. y'all can sit on over there at the twoperson table by the column. your waiter will be right with you.... and no. we don't take credit cards. only cash or check." said the oversized patriarch of the round top cafe from his stool ... from which he did not move the entire two hours we were in the cafe. oh and. that door does indeed say "no pants? no problem!" and next door was a shop called next stop paris. it had ... some lamps shaped like the eiffel tower. and some pillows for vivian's bed that i wanted so much to purchase. and that was all in roundtop. population 77. five miles outside of the university of texas' historic district at winedale where we had just seen ten year olds perform a relatively flawless version of a midsummer night's dream. izabella villers-milton as hermia was the best by far. she had finesse. not to say that cody moffit as lysander was lacking - he was quite a spunk. it was a good kinduva day. a day for soul expansion. a day of unreachability and unfindableness.